I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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