I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
