**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
