After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
