But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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