I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
