Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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