chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
