How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
