Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it's like iHOP with fire
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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