R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
