I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
