I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
