I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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