Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
