you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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