I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
