guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
