update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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