I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
