I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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