between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
