i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
