weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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