I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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