just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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