You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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