doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
