guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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