I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
