I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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