omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
