I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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