I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
