You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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