NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
