I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
