Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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