listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
