you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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