these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
