The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
