i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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