I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
