how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
