Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
