okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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