A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
