I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
