I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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