i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
