The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
