If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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