turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
